I went under the knife. Does that make me fake? I think this question has bothered me for awhile now. Ever since a friend said I had plastic surgery. For some reason, I took offense to that. I guess it's human nature to automatically think, when one hears "plastic" the first thought that comes to mind is "Oh, they fixed themselves up to look pretty." No one ever thinks, "Oh, s/he went under the knife for a medical reason" So I guess that's why it bothered me because that's the first thought I have when I heard "plastic." So does that make me plastic? In my mind I want to say no, but in reality the answer would be yes. In medical term, plastic means cosmetic repair and unfortunately I did get my jaw fixed but not for cosmetic reasons.
It was more of a medical condition
Because it was a medical condition, my parents did not have to pull any money out of their pocket for my surgery.
I was on medicaid.
When I had my surgery done, I was still eligible for medicaid. Usually, medicaid cuts off when one turns 18. But I was 19 and still needed things done to my mouth. So I stayed on medicaid a little longer then intended.
I had no intentions of going in the surgery for cosmetic reasons. Over the years, my lower jaw proceeded to grow out-ward. My doctor told me it would cause future problems. Headaches will occur now and then (that happen), cramping of jaw, pain, jaw locking in place, hearing my jaw clicking when chewing (that actually happens often), unable to chew correctly. All sort of problems.
Therefore, I decided to take on this 6 year journey to get my teeth placed correctly. September 13, 2004 was when my journey began. March 8, 2011 was when it ended. So approximately 6 to 7 years on braces. I nearly forgotten how my teeth felt without braces.
So I was a pretty darn excited when I finally had them off.
If I was told to get surgery for cosmetic reason at the age of 14, I would've most likely never agree to do it. But because it was going to fix future health issues, I understood and agreed to do it. At a young age, I honestly did not understand why anyone would try to fix themselves when in my eyes, they looked perfectly normal. Up until today, to some extent, I can understand why one would go under the knife, I guess being expose to such an environment has done that to me.
To conclude this, yes, I am fake, but not the reason you may think I did it for.
Baby me (age 3?) and current me (July, 2011)
I look the same. No?
I am one of the unfortunate few Asians who does not have a nose bridge. My mom has told me countless time to get my nose done. I always playfully say no to her (I like my little nose though) but I have actually started considering it. It's almost scary to me that I'm actually even letting it get to me. *sigh* I guess I'll just have to see.
I had stated earlier in my "Oral (under-bite jaw) Surgery" blog that after the swelling came down from the surgery, I noticed an asymmetry.
I want to show the asymmetry part & the results of having the left side of the jaw screwed in while the right side is just...
WARNING! Going further into this blog, it gets pretty gross because I'm going to take you inside my mouth! Just FYI!
So stop reading if you think you can't handle it!
This is all me and I'm going to be 100% real about it. ^_^
These pictures are pretty old?
They were taken a while back when my skin broke out like crazy.
It's disturbing to look back,
but I'm glad I took them.
That's right, I'm GLOWING. lol.
Major skin transformation.
A LOT of sun time and outrageous sweating.
My skin just secreted all the nasty stuff under my skin.
*Note: I did not wear any make-up there. No amount of make-up could cover up any of that mess I had before. I was so afraid of make-up clogging my pores, I did not, DID NOT, wear any sort of make-up. I was so scared. I needed my skin to heal but I didn't know how.
I would like to thank Mrs. Levels, Montessori teacher, whom exposed me to a lot of outdoors activities. Being under the sun did wonders for my skin, and I can't thank her enough for letting me work beside her. Thank you so much Mrs. Levels. ^_^
She also introduced me to this pure soap called Black soap,
I used this to clean my face and it has helped clear up my skin.
Black soap incrediants: pure honey, Shea butter, Osun (carmwood), cocoa pod powder, plantain peel powder, palm kernel oil, cocnut oil, water, and aloe vera.
All natural goodies. ^_^
I could blab on more about this soap, but I'll let the photos do the talking. ^_^
*on top with being exposed to the sun & sweating a lot of course*
I love before and after pictures. They're fun to look at.
Growing up, I've always been told I was skinny.
I never thought such comments were bad/negative.
I also never knew exactly how skinny I was visibly/visually.
I was happy. That's all that matters right?
I might be underweight but I'm pretty happy & healthy.
But after seeing photos of myself, taken by a friend, from the side, I finally see how skinny I was.
And I have to say...
It's not pretty.
*note: photo taken 2010*
After seeing these photos, I did try to gain some weight. I tried to gain it in a healthy manner and whenever my cravings kicked in, I welcomed it. But I have to say, my efforts were brutal. In the photo, I was 19.
I took these flax seed oil for the longest time, with every meal I took. But it didn't really get me any where.
I am not bulimic and I am not anorexic.
It has been a year now since those pictures were taken.
Another friend of mine has taken a couple of pictures of me recently (8/2011). I have to say, I look better. I have gained 5 lbs.
Even my beloved mother told me I've gain some weight. She mentioned back then my collar bone stuck out. I have always thought my collar bone was out, but she claims it's not as visible as it was back then. So yeah, I can't tell, but I guess. I am now standing at 90 lbs in my early 20.
I gave up the idea of gaining weight. I eat whenever I'm hungry, and I take my vitamin supplements whenever I remember, and trust me, that's often. No change really.
I wanted to add another entry
and I know it's off topic
I have a pretty awesome scar when I was younger....
I lived in Indonesia in a poor small hut fifteen years ago. My mom gave me a bag of chips to eat and the only source of light around was a lit candle. My mom stepped out for a moment to wash the clothes, leaving me inside the hut with the lit candle. After finishing off my chips, I held the empty bag. I saw the lit candle and walked toward it. I placed the bag over the candle and the bag burned. I dropped the bag and it landed right on my leg. I cried and my mom came rushing in. She freaked out when she found out what I did to myself,. Was I taken to the hospital? I actually don't know the answer to that question. I need to ask her that.
On the way to Children's Hospital for my, under-bite-jaw, surgery.
What time was my surgery? I think it was 7? I left the house by 6? I can't quite recall. It has been a year or two now. . ^_^
Got there & had to undress...
Then I was given this purple/pink liquid to put me to sleep...
My sister took pictures non-stop...So I had to hide...
In seconds...I was gone...
My mom and sister had to wait alittle over 4 hrs for me...
so I'm told...
After the surgery was over...
I was monitored for a while until it was safe to put me in a room...
Got a free toy! Chea! ^_^
Hrs later, I was put in my own room. ^_^
So in the end.
The surgeon said everything turned out well.
I stayed in the hospital for 2 days and 3 nights, then went home.
In a couple of days, I notice there was something strangely off...
A week later I went to get my x-ray done.
We had a problem.
My right jaw was perfectly positioned but...
My left jaw popped out of place.
So I had to go in for a 2nd surgery.
Surgery 2 (Sept. 2009)
Excuse me for the lack of quality in the photo since I did take this from my cell phone.
The idea was to push the jaw back into place but it had been so long and afraid the jaw may have already healed in that position, the surgeon decided it would be best to screw in my left jaw.
I walked around with a lopsided face for a while...
I'm just going to sum up what I had dealt with, in a year... I suffered for two months on strict liquid diet. That caused me some serious hair loss & weight (lost 10 lbs.) My face was breaking out all over the place. Going & coming home from school was awful. I went straight to bed after I came home from school. I was so drained by 3:00pm, suffered for another hr until school was out. (4:00pm) Senior year wasn't exactly the best for me. After the swelling came down... I literally had a battle with myself. My face turned out asymmetrical. My right side was flat, but my left was round. I spent a lot of time venting & blaming the surgeon, thinking this was his fault. So I decided to visit a different surgeon to see his view on this. He told me the problem was my own. I have an asymmetrical face. It took me awhile to accept it. It was actually really, really, REALLY hard for me to accept it. I was disturbed by the issue for the longest time. I felt slightly depressed, numb. The whole depression attitude scared me. I was not being myself and I knew it.
I had a couple of people telling me that they didn't notice the problem at all until I mentioned it. A friend even said, "Majority of the time, when people see you or talk to you. They don't look at your face, they look at your eyes or nose. They never look at any other part of your face. So don't worry about it."
That was a source of booster for me. I chose to adjust, and I did.
I'm still very consciously aware of my asymmetrical face, but I've learned to cope with it.
I try to sleep and eat more often on my left side now. ^_^ In hope that it would somehow fix this asymmetry.
But yeah, what can I do...
Now on to the more interesting & fascinating part...
March 27, 2009.....................................May 31, 2011
April 18, 2008.......................................Sept. 26, 2011
Aug. 13, 2008..........................................July 11, 2011
Aug. 13, 2008..........................................Aug. 8, 2011
June 2, 2008..........................................Oct. 21, 2011
I used to have an under-bite. Now, I have an overbite. I have never realized how big my teeth were but I sure do love them that way! Aside from the asymmetry, I'm pretty satisfied with how the surgery turned out. ^_^
Really appreciated this strangers comment. Decided to re-blog this. Maybe it'll be helpful to someone out there.